Sometimes I find that I can get a little time to focus on God while Nor is taking her morning nap and Luke is watching a show. Today, however, I don't want to leave Luke alone because I'm pretty sure he will poop in his underwear. I'm trying to keep an eye on him so he doesn't go hide somewhere. So I decided to journal a bit here about what I read this morning.
Our cell group girls are reading The Boy Who Cried Abba by Brennan Manning. I love Brennan Manning. He tells stories that really help me grasp what grace is and who God is. In The Boy Who Cried Abba, Willie Juan is a little boy who has no friends, has many physical imperfections, and gets made fun of constantly. At one of the annual Hopi festivals he attends, he meets the Medicine Man (Jesus). Here's one conversation they had: (bold and italics are mine)
Jesus: You see, Willie Juan, the Evil One, like a shrewd enemy commander, has surrounded you and discovered where you are most vulnerable. He has used your bad feelings about your scars and lame leg to tie you up in knots, chaining you to a deep sense of worthlessness. The next step can be dangerous, because you will need to let go of your hold on your life. You'll feel as if you're losing control, and the illusion of being in charge of your own future, of being the master of your own destiny, will vanish.
Willie Juan: Um, uh, what is this next step?
Jesus: Surrender yourself in unwavering trust ot El Shaddai. Trust that everything that has happened to you was necessary to bring you to this present moment. And trust that the good work that has been started within you will be brought to completion...
Later in the conversation, discussing the power of the Spirit when we ask him into our lives, Jesus says, "Calling on him can be like going to the dentist to fix your upper left molar and hearing him say after a brief inspection, 'I'm sorry, but I'll have to remove your whole mouth.' When you ask him into your life, he changes it in ways you can't even imagine."
In another part, Willie Juan shares his fajita lunch with Jesus. Jesus tells him, "When you get to heaven, Little Friend, your Abba will not ask you how many prayers you said, or how many souls you saved. He'll ask, 'Did you enjoy the fajita?' He wants you to live with passion, in the beauty of the moment, accepting and enjoying his gifts.
Willie Juan asks Jesus why he didn't come with a trumpet show and angels, to which Jesus replies, "I didn't want to frighten you, my friend...Isn't it difficult to be a friend to someone who has all the answers, who's always totally unafraid, invulnerable, needing nothing adn nobody, always in control of every situation? With a person like that you don't feel comfortable or needed...it is the deepest desire of my heart to be known, loved and wanted as I really am. "
Quote I want to internalize: Simply accept that you are accepted. No matter what:)
Alright, now to go check on Luke on his potty...