Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Dealing with Disappointment

I hope the following blog doesn't come off as whining and complaining. Bryan works 55+hours/wk on salary. This doesn't count the 1/2 hour commute both ways and 1/2 lunch he doesn't take. He's been working this many hours for probably 5 mos. or so. When I was eight months pregnant with Caroline, I warned him that I wouldn't be able to handle these long days with three kids. Well, Caroline is 3 mos. old this week and things are just now beginning to change. We were led to believe last week that there was a great job available for him at the county jail. He'd work 6 am -2pm Mon-Fri. The pay would be less but I thought it was worth it for Bryan to be home more with me and the kids. Currently, he sees the kids from 7-8:30 pm everyday. He reads to them every night and says their bedtime prayers with them. Today we found out there really wasn't a job for him. Hopefully he will be able to switch positions at work to something where he can be home more.

Anyway, to deal with my disappointment that I won't be seeing my husband for dinner every night and have someone to help me with a dozen daily potty trips and discipline issues and that my kids won't see their dad but for a little bit before bedtime every weeknight, I am outlining some truths to tell myself. I've found boundaries help keep my emotions from getting out of control. That's exactly what happens when I'm on duty from sunup til past sundown Mon-Fri.

  1. My husband doesn't really work the day shift. He works 6am-7pm most every day. Having plans with friends on weeknights is not a good idea. On Mondays, which are usually even longer days, I have a friend to hang out with in the evening.
  2. Weekends are our time together. We need to make the most of this time. It's not wise to go do our own thing for half the day. That's too much being gone.
  3. Being cranky is a waste of time.
  4. Thank You, God, that we have a job, paychecks, healthy, smart, decently obedient kids, extraordinary friends and family.
  5. Accept help and don't be proud. Do not apologize or feel guilty if I find a little time for myself.
  6. Everything on my to-do list does not have to be done before noon on Monday, nor does it have to be done before noon any other day. Running errands with 3 children can be difficult. Lower personal expectations.
  7. Spread things out and use every bit of time available.
  8. ENJOY enjoy ENJOY enjoy ENJOY enjoy -that's my biggest fear - that I will look back and not have appreciated this amazing time in my life having 3 under 5.

Diary of a Busy Mom

I want to start blogging about my days. They aren't anything spectacular to read I'm sure, so please don't feel obligated if you find them monotonous or annoying.

Today I woke up to rain on my bedroom rooftop, wishing I could stay in bed all day:) But, I got up and helped Luke get ready for school and get on the bus. Since the girls weren't up yet (which is strange for Norah certainly), I got a little quiet time to myself, then napped for 20 min. on the couch til Nor got up. Norah and I had breakfast and got ready. Then I got Caroline up and tried to feed her. She was very snotty and didn't want to eat. We packed ourselves up and headed to the RSEC, now the CFSB bldg, to walk for half an hour. After that we went to story time at Immanuel Lutheran Church and had a wonderful time playing, listening to a story and doing a craft. Plus, 3 of my friends were there, so I got to talk to them - bonus! I dropped the girls off at home with Amanda so I could work for a couple hours w/o them. I picked Luke up, ran an errand, treated us to lunch at McD's, then worked for an hour. I was so so glad to get home and put on comfy warm clothes. Worked on laundry and chores til I tutored at 3. Now I'm getting ready to make some meals to have on hand. No plans tonight, just hanging out at home and staying dry.