Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Dealing with Disappointment

I hope the following blog doesn't come off as whining and complaining. Bryan works 55+hours/wk on salary. This doesn't count the 1/2 hour commute both ways and 1/2 lunch he doesn't take. He's been working this many hours for probably 5 mos. or so. When I was eight months pregnant with Caroline, I warned him that I wouldn't be able to handle these long days with three kids. Well, Caroline is 3 mos. old this week and things are just now beginning to change. We were led to believe last week that there was a great job available for him at the county jail. He'd work 6 am -2pm Mon-Fri. The pay would be less but I thought it was worth it for Bryan to be home more with me and the kids. Currently, he sees the kids from 7-8:30 pm everyday. He reads to them every night and says their bedtime prayers with them. Today we found out there really wasn't a job for him. Hopefully he will be able to switch positions at work to something where he can be home more.

Anyway, to deal with my disappointment that I won't be seeing my husband for dinner every night and have someone to help me with a dozen daily potty trips and discipline issues and that my kids won't see their dad but for a little bit before bedtime every weeknight, I am outlining some truths to tell myself. I've found boundaries help keep my emotions from getting out of control. That's exactly what happens when I'm on duty from sunup til past sundown Mon-Fri.

  1. My husband doesn't really work the day shift. He works 6am-7pm most every day. Having plans with friends on weeknights is not a good idea. On Mondays, which are usually even longer days, I have a friend to hang out with in the evening.
  2. Weekends are our time together. We need to make the most of this time. It's not wise to go do our own thing for half the day. That's too much being gone.
  3. Being cranky is a waste of time.
  4. Thank You, God, that we have a job, paychecks, healthy, smart, decently obedient kids, extraordinary friends and family.
  5. Accept help and don't be proud. Do not apologize or feel guilty if I find a little time for myself.
  6. Everything on my to-do list does not have to be done before noon on Monday, nor does it have to be done before noon any other day. Running errands with 3 children can be difficult. Lower personal expectations.
  7. Spread things out and use every bit of time available.
  8. ENJOY enjoy ENJOY enjoy ENJOY enjoy -that's my biggest fear - that I will look back and not have appreciated this amazing time in my life having 3 under 5.

1 comment:

Krystal said...

We are definitely praying for you guys and Pup's job! I am glad that you have these to at least help you get through this time. This time shall pass and I know that you will look back on it and appreciate everything! Love you!