I Remember...

Something Beth Moore said struck me as I was working on my bible study of Esther. She said that sometimes we need to actively remember the hard things we've been through, not just tuck them away under the "Already Taken Care Of" file. "Remember what God has done for you! Rehearse the story again." It made me think of this:

I remember...
nearly five years ago I found out I was pregnant.
I got my first speeding ticket driving to Nashville where Bryan was taking a class for work.
we spent the weekend at Mom and Dad's, excited about the news.
things started going wrong.
Dad came in to talk to me as I sat on the side of my bed heartbroken and crying.
I laid with my feet up at home and hoped things would turn out ok.
bloodwork showed bad news.
we spent the weekend in Paducah to get away.
the clinic called and said I needed an ultrasound.
the ultrasound showed the pregnancy was in a tube.
Dr. Hjerpe told me I needed surgery the next morning, despite the fact that Bryan was out of town.
I called Mom and her and dad drove to Murray that evening even though they had just been here for the weekend. And Nic and her friend followed shortly.
Dr. Green prayed with me before I went into surgery with Dr. Hjerpe.
Dad holding my hand and telling me what happened while Mom was picking up my pain medicine.
the dr. thought I would still be able to have a baby.

And here I am nearly five years later, sixteen weeks pregnant with baby #3. Unbelievable to me. No charts, taking temperatures, tests, timing of our own. Just a true surprise. Just a gift from the One who held my hand, dried my tears, listened to my sobs, and delighted in the story He was weaving in our family and our faith.

Birthday Girl

It's my birthmonth. Besides Christmas, my favorite time of the year. Spring is around the corner. It's almost flip flop season. Sweaters are put away and t-shirts I forgot I liked come out of storage. Daffodils pop up in the yard. All this makes me smile.

This year I was spoiled rotten by my friends and family. My calendar was filled with dinner dates (because I'm pregnant?). Don't know. Don't care:) I am just thankful that people thought of me! People making time to spend with me is a big part of my love language. I feel loved when people want to hang out with me. So when Nic, who is already coming twice for other spring events in Murray, came for my birthday weekend, I felt really loved. And when Aaron made time to stop packing before his big move to take us to dinner, I felt loved. And when Mom made my favorite foods for our visit, I felt loved. And when Kristin and Greg gave up a Sunday to let me beat them in Settlers twice:), I felt loved. And when Kim took me to lunch and for a pedicure on her Saturday morning, I felt loved. I know times are tight for people, and that makes it even more meaningful.

So today when the dr. asked me if birthdays were getting harder for me, I happily said "No." I am too spoiled to complain about being another year older:)

My Boy

Many things Luke does can be labeled as Jaclyn-esque or Bryan-esque. He hates change, needs to be made aware of our daily plans, and likes to know what's going on - those are Jaclyn-esque things. He pees outside, likes to play, seems fearless, loves to get dirty - those are Bryan-esque things.

He's started dressing himself, and yesterday put his shirt on backwards. I told him it needed to be turned around, and he informed me that "that's the way Murray State guys wear it." I'm guessing he noticed this at the basketball game we went to a few weeks ago. So I let him keep it that way. Why not?

Doing things backwards is a very Jaclyn-esque thing:)

Something Different

For my birthday, Aaron asked if he and Leigh could treat us all to dinner on Friday night, and I couldn't pass that up:) When he told me to choose a place, I said Tumbleweed and he asked if I'd ever been to Shogun, the Japanese restaurant. Of course I hadn't. I just started liking Chinese in the last couple years, so liking Japanese was pushing it I thought. Plus I'd heard that place was expensive so I haven't ever tried it. But he said they had great steak, and I trusted him on that.

We sat around the grill and got to watch the chef twirl knives and slice and dice. Luke did not care for the little show but Norah was pretty amazed. The food was plentiful and delicious. At least once we got to the meat and veggies;) I think the kids' favorite part was the cute umbrellas the waiter brought them.

A Movie Review

When Kim mentioned that she wanted to go see the movie Valentine's Day, I hesitantly agreed. For some reason I wasn't excited about Valentine's day this year. I pretty much don't get excited about that "holiday," but had kinda gotten into it while I was a teacher. Just about the best day in my elementary classroom always surprised me as Valentine's day. The kids were so sweet.

This year I didn't really feel great that week and couldn't muster up the energy to let the kids make cute boxes to take to a friend's party. My heart just wasn't in it, no pun intended;) I felt overwhelmed - What should I get Bryan? I want Luke to get something for Norah and her to get something for him, and us to give them something... All for this very small holiday to me. Plus, money was tight. So, I felt a bit like a party pooper, but we all still had a good day.

Anyway, Kim and I went because I'm pretty much always good with going out to a movie. I was so pleasantly surprised, really actually shocked how much I liked the movie. I thought all the famous people would just have these bit parts and only show up for 30 seconds or something. (Don't ask about the Morgan Freeman movie Kristin and I picked out once...). All the famous people had plots. At first I thought it was going to be depressing when I realized half the relationships were adulterous or hiding something. But it redeemed itself as teenagers made responsible decisions and people flew 14 hours to show their love and others were generous.

One more thing. I think Jennifer Garner is my new favorite actress. Sandra Bullock has held that spot for me for a long time, but something about Garner is so genuine and real. I really like her.

Last thing, really. The Pretty Woman reference was excellent, and I'm glad I'm old enough to get it:) Happy Birthday week to me!

Sore Throat...Ugh!

I've been dealing with a very sore throat for over a week now. Four days of last week found me almost voiceless. Talking hurt. Swallowing hurt. Since the rest of my family was sick and had tested negatively for strep, I figured I shouldn't bother getting tested. By day 5 or 6 without getting good sleep, I got frustrated and decided it was time to take care of myself. I tried a couple medicines but they weren't very effective. So last night I went to see our doctor friend at 9 at night and he wrote me a prescription. I slept last night. Slept hard. Drooled. Snored loudly apparently. That's what I needed.

I shouldn't have been too surprised at this sickness. With each of my other pregnancies, I have gotten terrible sinus infections. The one I had while pregnant with Luke was so bad I still vividly remember it. I guess I was waiting for that and the sore throat caught me off guard.

All this to say, I learned something while I was quietly suffering every swallow. Pretty much every comment I had didn't REALLY need to be said. Yes, it was difficult not being able to talk to the kids, to encourage them or tell them I knew what they meant. But when it came to talking with my husband, I would think about whether the comment was worth the pain of talking and usually decided it wasn't. It's humbling to think that most of what I say isn't that important. It reminds me of the verses in Proverbs about keeping your mouth shut and the ones in James about listening first, then speaking. I'd like to not have to learn this lesson again:)