A Glimpse Inside My Mind

Army Wives v. Jesus' Bride

2011-05-15T18:04:00.001-07:00

Thanks to my mom's recommendation, I tried out the show Army Wives on Netflix. I really like to watch a tv series from the very beginning. It only took one episode and I really liked it-couldn't even pick a favorite character I liked it so much. And boy am I thankful since I'm spending a lot more time on my couch as I recover from neck surgery.

The main characters of Army Wives share friendship, sadnesses, joys, drinks, dinners, and lots of life experiences that normal people have. They are a tight-knit group that most would envy. I would've envied it fifteen years ago.

As I get emotionally involved in the lives of my "friends" on Army Wives, it's hard not to notice their closeness but also their dedication to their country. When they are having hard times, they rely on themselves. That's where the difference lies.

My friends and I share friendship, sadnesses, joys, drinks from Sonic:), dinners and lots of life experiences. But the main thread that keeps us sewn together isn't our country, it's our Maker. Our Savior. the One who brought us together. And for that Common Thread I will forever be thankful. He has put the most amazing friends in my life, brothers and sisters that mean the world to me.

Dealing with Disappointment

2010-11-16T15:08:00.001-08:00

I hope the following blog doesn't come off as whining and complaining. Bryan works 55+hours/wk on salary. This doesn't count the 1/2 hour commute both ways and 1/2 lunch he doesn't take. He's been working this many hours for probably 5 mos. or so. When I was eight months pregnant with Caroline, I warned him that I wouldn't be able to handle these long days with three kids. Well, Caroline is 3 mos. old this week and things are just now beginning to change. We were led to believe last week that there was a great job available for him at the county jail. He'd work 6 am -2pm Mon-Fri. The pay would be less but I thought it was worth it for Bryan to be home more with me and the kids. Currently, he sees the kids from 7-8:30 pm everyday. He reads to them every night and says their bedtime prayers with them. Today we found out there really wasn't a job for him. Hopefully he will be able to switch positions at work to something where he can be home more.

Anyway, to deal with my disappointment that I won't be seeing my husband for dinner every night and have someone to help me with a dozen daily potty trips and discipline issues and that my kids won't see their dad but for a little bit before bedtime every weeknight, I am outlining some truths to tell myself. I've found boundaries help keep my emotions from getting out of control. That's exactly what happens when I'm on duty from sunup til past sundown Mon-Fri.

My husband doesn't really work the day shift. He works 6am-7pm most every day. Having plans with friends on weeknights is not a good idea. On Mondays, which are usually even longer days, I have a friend to hang out with in the evening.
Weekends are our time together. We need to make the most of this time. It's not wise to go do our own thing for half the day. That's too much being gone.
Being cranky is a waste of time.
Thank You, God, that we have a job, paychecks, healthy, smart, decently obedient kids, extraordinary friends and family.
Accept help and don't be proud. Do not apologize or feel guilty if I find a little time for myself.
Everything on my to-do list does not have to be done before noon on Monday, nor does it have to be done before noon any other day. Running errands with 3 children can be difficult. Lower personal expectations.
Spread things out and use every bit of time available.
ENJOY enjoy ENJOY enjoy ENJOY enjoy -that's my biggest fear - that I will look back and not have appreciated this amazing time in my life having 3 under 5.

Diary of a Busy Mom

2010-11-16T14:59:00.000-08:00

I want to start blogging about my days. They aren't anything spectacular to read I'm sure, so please don't feel obligated if you find them monotonous or annoying.

Today I woke up to rain on my bedroom rooftop, wishing I could stay in bed all day:) But, I got up and helped Luke get ready for school and get on the bus. Since the girls weren't up yet (which is strange for Norah certainly), I got a little quiet time to myself, then napped for 20 min. on the couch til Nor got up. Norah and I had breakfast and got ready. Then I got Caroline up and tried to feed her. She was very snotty and didn't want to eat. We packed ourselves up and headed to the RSEC, now the CFSB bldg, to walk for half an hour. After that we went to story time at Immanuel Lutheran Church and had a wonderful time playing, listening to a story and doing a craft. Plus, 3 of my friends were there, so I got to talk to them - bonus! I dropped the girls off at home with Amanda so I could work for a couple hours w/o them. I picked Luke up, ran an errand, treated us to lunch at McD's, then worked for an hour. I was so so glad to get home and put on comfy warm clothes. Worked on laundry and chores til I tutored at 3. Now I'm getting ready to make some meals to have on hand. No plans tonight, just hanging out at home and staying dry.

Hand-Picked Friends

2010-10-04T07:01:00.001-07:00

Kristin and I have been talking about this new season with Cate and Luke in preschool now. Our routines have changed; it's strange not having them with us, but we know it's part of growing up. One thing that is neat is that our kids are choosing their own friends for the first time. All the friends they have up until now are our friends' kids. That works out pretty perfectly.

Now Luke comes home talking about friends at school and it's weird to me to not know their moms or anything about them. So we've got some playdates to work on that.

On the subject of friends, Luke and Norah got attached to a couple of my sister's friend's kids at Audrey's first birthday party. They still talk about these friends they played with at the party, Jordan and Jaylin. So this weekend when we were up at my mom's we got the kids together to play. I guess I'm amazed that they remember these friends and were so anxious to see them again. They played and were sad to have to part again.

Quirky Kids

2010-10-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

I know I won't remember these little things if I don't write them down or scrapbook them or tell my friends so we can laugh about them in the years to come. Here are the latest antics from our house.

Norah has taken to wearing her pink Dora rubber gloves quite often. She got these from her Grandma Stacy last spring. They are gardening gloves. She ignored them for months and now wears them to bed and around the house. I think she is associating them with the purple gloves Willy Wonka wears on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The best part is, she wears them when we go potty sometimes and I don't have to wash her hands:)

Luke has been cracking me up lately when he uses a deep voice to speak for his toys, but especially when his toys talk to me. I will hear Luke call me Jaclyn and before I can say something about it I realize his toy is talking to me. I talk to all kinds of toys throughout the day - Batman, Optimus Prime, Iron Man. My favorite though was War Machine the other day. He accidentally took a swim in the toilet so I asked Luke to put him in the kitchen sink for me to clean. When I gave War Machine back to Luke, War Machine (in a deep voice) said, "Thank you Jaclyn for cleaning my circuits."

More antics to come...:)

What My Kids Teach Me

2010-08-09T05:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a long time, obviously. Yet my mind has been on overdrive. One thing I thought about quite some time ago was what my kids have taught me. After having trouble having Lluke, I wasn't sure we would have anymore. So I did the best I could to not have any regrets. Luke definitely taught me that it's ok to get dirty. Messes clean up. He loves to jump in puddles, adopt bugs as pets, dig in dirt, and play in mud. (Yet he freaks out if his hands are sticky after a popsicle:))

Now, Norah and I had a rough start. It wasn't entirely her fault. Circumstances at home were difficult, she didn't sleep very well at all, and I was a hormonal mess. Eventually, everything worked itself out. She is such a delight to me. God gave her to me to teach me to dance. I secretly would love to dance. To swing dance actually. But I have lived 32 years as inhibited and that is too hard to change apparently. But in the privacy of my home with my Pandora set on Abba, we dance away. She dances to ringtones, commercials, movies, and actually to nothing at all. She has a bounce in her normal everyday step.

It's natural for me to wonder what Caroline will teach us. I wonder what she will be like, knowing she will be herself and different from her brother and sister. No matter what, I know she will have much to teach me.

Good News

2010-04-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

Bryan and I were excited about the ultrasound appointment on Tuesday. We'd decided originally that we'd be surprised like we were with Luke. That wasn't really that hard and it was so exciting. On the way home from our Omaha trip though, I told Bryan I was really on the fence about finding out and he said he was too:) So we decided that if the baby cooperated, we'd find out.

Everything looked good. The spine, the legs, the arms, the heart, etc. Then the technician started putting her computer arrows around another part and I said, "It's a girl?," being pretty sure about what I'd seen. She confirmed and we were so surprised. My gut feeling was that we were having a boy and apparently I'd convinced myself of that. Bryan too. We were so glad we found out! So, you're looking at Caroline Mae Tompkins. Her profile looks just like her brother and sister's did:)

I Remember...

2010-03-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

Something Beth Moore said struck me as I was working on my bible study of Esther. She said that sometimes we need to actively remember the hard things we've been through, not just tuck them away under the "Already Taken Care Of" file. "Remember what God has done for you! Rehearse the story again." It made me think of this:

I remember...
nearly five years ago I found out I was pregnant.
I got my first speeding ticket driving to Nashville where Bryan was taking a class for work.
we spent the weekend at Mom and Dad's, excited about the news.
things started going wrong.
Dad came in to talk to me as I sat on the side of my bed heartbroken and crying.
I laid with my feet up at home and hoped things would turn out ok.
bloodwork showed bad news.
we spent the weekend in Paducah to get away.
the clinic called and said I needed an ultrasound.
the ultrasound showed the pregnancy was in a tube.
Dr. Hjerpe told me I needed surgery the next morning, despite the fact that Bryan was out of town.
I called Mom and her and dad drove to Murray that evening even though they had just been here for the weekend. And Nic and her friend followed shortly.
Dr. Green prayed with me before I went into surgery with Dr. Hjerpe.
Dad holding my hand and telling me what happened while Mom was picking up my pain medicine.
the dr. thought I would still be able to have a baby.

And here I am nearly five years later, sixteen weeks pregnant with baby #3. Unbelievable to me. No charts, taking temperatures, tests, timing of our own. Just a true surprise. Just a gift from the One who held my hand, dried my tears, listened to my sobs, and delighted in the story He was weaving in our family and our faith.

Birthday Girl

2010-03-16T14:16:00.000-07:00

It's my birthmonth. Besides Christmas, my favorite time of the year. Spring is around the corner. It's almost flip flop season. Sweaters are put away and t-shirts I forgot I liked come out of storage. Daffodils pop up in the yard. All this makes me smile.

This year I was spoiled rotten by my friends and family. My calendar was filled with dinner dates (because I'm pregnant?). Don't know. Don't care:) I am just thankful that people thought of me! People making time to spend with me is a big part of my love language. I feel loved when people want to hang out with me. So when Nic, who is already coming twice for other spring events in Murray, came for my birthday weekend, I felt really loved. And when Aaron made time to stop packing before his big move to take us to dinner, I felt loved. And when Mom made my favorite foods for our visit, I felt loved. And when Kristin and Greg gave up a Sunday to let me beat them in Settlers twice:), I felt loved. And when Kim took me to lunch and for a pedicure on her Saturday morning, I felt loved. I know times are tight for people, and that makes it even more meaningful.

So today when the dr. asked me if birthdays were getting harder for me, I happily said "No." I am too spoiled to complain about being another year older:)

My Boy

2010-03-16T14:06:00.001-07:00

Many things Luke does can be labeled as Jaclyn-esque or Bryan-esque. He hates change, needs to be made aware of our daily plans, and likes to know what's going on - those are Jaclyn-esque things. He pees outside, likes to play, seems fearless, loves to get dirty - those are Bryan-esque things.

He's started dressing himself, and yesterday put his shirt on backwards. I told him it needed to be turned around, and he informed me that "that's the way Murray State guys wear it." I'm guessing he noticed this at the basketball game we went to a few weeks ago. So I let him keep it that way. Why not?

Doing things backwards is a very Jaclyn-esque thing:)

Something Different

2010-03-16T13:58:00.000-07:00

For my birthday, Aaron asked if he and Leigh could treat us all to dinner on Friday night, and I couldn't pass that up:) When he told me to choose a place, I said Tumbleweed and he asked if I'd ever been to Shogun, the Japanese restaurant. Of course I hadn't. I just started liking Chinese in the last couple years, so liking Japanese was pushing it I thought. Plus I'd heard that place was expensive so I haven't ever tried it. But he said they had great steak, and I trusted him on that.

We sat around the grill and got to watch the chef twirl knives and slice and dice. Luke did not care for the little show but Norah was pretty amazed. The food was plentiful and delicious. At least once we got to the meat and veggies;) I think the kids' favorite part was the cute umbrellas the waiter brought them.

A Movie Review

2010-03-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

When Kim mentioned that she wanted to go see the movie Valentine's Day, I hesitantly agreed. For some reason I wasn't excited about Valentine's day this year. I pretty much don't get excited about that "holiday," but had kinda gotten into it while I was a teacher. Just about the best day in my elementary classroom always surprised me as Valentine's day. The kids were so sweet.

This year I didn't really feel great that week and couldn't muster up the energy to let the kids make cute boxes to take to a friend's party. My heart just wasn't in it, no pun intended;) I felt overwhelmed - What should I get Bryan? I want Luke to get something for Norah and her to get something for him, and us to give them something... All for this very small holiday to me. Plus, money was tight. So, I felt a bit like a party pooper, but we all still had a good day.

Anyway, Kim and I went because I'm pretty much always good with going out to a movie. I was so pleasantly surprised, really actually shocked how much I liked the movie. I thought all the famous people would just have these bit parts and only show up for 30 seconds or something. (Don't ask about the Morgan Freeman movie Kristin and I picked out once...). All the famous people had plots. At first I thought it was going to be depressing when I realized half the relationships were adulterous or hiding something. But it redeemed itself as teenagers made responsible decisions and people flew 14 hours to show their love and others were generous.

One more thing. I think Jennifer Garner is my new favorite actress. Sandra Bullock has held that spot for me for a long time, but something about Garner is so genuine and real. I really like her.

Last thing, really. The Pretty Woman reference was excellent, and I'm glad I'm old enough to get it:) Happy Birthday week to me!

Sore Throat...Ugh!

2010-03-01T06:09:00.000-08:00

I've been dealing with a very sore throat for over a week now. Four days of last week found me almost voiceless. Talking hurt. Swallowing hurt. Since the rest of my family was sick and had tested negatively for strep, I figured I shouldn't bother getting tested. By day 5 or 6 without getting good sleep, I got frustrated and decided it was time to take care of myself. I tried a couple medicines but they weren't very effective. So last night I went to see our doctor friend at 9 at night and he wrote me a prescription. I slept last night. Slept hard. Drooled. Snored loudly apparently. That's what I needed.

I shouldn't have been too surprised at this sickness. With each of my other pregnancies, I have gotten terrible sinus infections. The one I had while pregnant with Luke was so bad I still vividly remember it. I guess I was waiting for that and the sore throat caught me off guard.

All this to say, I learned something while I was quietly suffering every swallow. Pretty much every comment I had didn't REALLY need to be said. Yes, it was difficult not being able to talk to the kids, to encourage them or tell them I knew what they meant. But when it came to talking with my husband, I would think about whether the comment was worth the pain of talking and usually decided it wasn't. It's humbling to think that most of what I say isn't that important. It reminds me of the verses in Proverbs about keeping your mouth shut and the ones in James about listening first, then speaking. I'd like to not have to learn this lesson again:)

More Snow!

2010-02-09T10:20:00.000-08:00

Bryan always makes fun of me because when the weather forecast predicts snow, I say "It never snows in Murray." Well, we all got enough ice to last a lifetime last year. But this year it has snowed significantly (for Murray) three times this year! The first snow wasn't much, but that's what we expect in Murray, so we went out and played in it. The next snow was predicted to be a nasty storm on the anniversary of the ice storm so everyone seemed freaked out. We didn't get much ice but got snow so we played some more and Bryan took the kids sledding.

Another snow came yesterday. It started about 4:00 pm and snowed all evening. We woke up to a blanketed neighborhood. It's also blowing around so it looks like it's still snowing sometimes and big chunks are falling from high places. So pretty! We all went sledding this time and it was a lot of fun!

Boots

2010-01-20T16:05:00.000-08:00

Norah has liked shoes for quite some time now, and she's only 21 mos. If there are a bunch of shoes by the door, Norah can match up which shoes go with which person. She stoops down to examine people's shoes. She tries on flip flops, slippers, sandals, high heels... When winter came, she discovered boots. Nic got Hello Kitty galoshes cheap for Audrey and when I mentioned wanting some for Norah, Nic said Norah could wear them this year. I think she enjoys boots even more than other shoes because she can put them on by herself:)

Helping in the Kitchen

2010-01-20T15:58:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share this picture. Luke was helping me make sugar cookies. He cracks me up.

More on Ladybug the Tramp

2010-01-20T15:35:00.001-08:00

Luke's love for ladybugs in the house hasn't waned much. He still enjoys finding them and talking to them. Today he wanted a snack so I let him have a couple fudge graham crackers. A few minutes later I heard him talking about how hungry the ladybugs were. I looked over to see four ladybugs perched on his cookie. Gross! When I put him down for his nap, I noticed the four ladybugs were sitting on the arm of the couch. I'm pretty sure the cookie was gone. Yuck!

Fisher Family Christmas

2010-01-13T19:49:00.000-08:00

We celebrated Christmas with Bryan's side of the family the weekend before the holiday. The kids got spoiled rotten, in fact, we all did! I got this stroller I'd been wanting and the kids got a huge dinosaur and lots of other toys (and in Norah's case, shoes;))

As you can see, Norah was a bit hesitant with this talking, eating creature that was bigger than her. She warmed up quickly though.

Sometimes it's nice to have a face to go with a name.

Bryan's family - the Fisher side

Left to right: Rhonda (Bryan's mom), John (Bryan's stepdad), Chris (Bryan's stepbrother), Alex (Bryan's brother), Uncle Gene, Uncle Dennis, Aunt Dana, Bryan
Grandma Fisher, Aunt Marcia, me and the kids

Life at our house.- just an update

2010-01-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

I feel like it's been way too long since I've blogged. Life has been happening and time seems to be flying faster than usual. I often get a panicky feeling of time passing too quickly at the New Year. We've been spending time with friends and family, Bryan's been working a lot, and I've been working, managing the house and taking care of the kids.

Luke and Norah seem to get along most of the time and I enjoy that. Luke is pretty much potty-trained and that is awesome!!! He's a big boy about going to the bathroom himself. Sometimes he has to be talked out of a corner, but he usually gets the main work done in the potty and that's all that matters to me! His sister must've been making mental notes the last year. Of her few words, she says "My pee" while holding her crotch. Sure enough, she wants to go try to use the potty. Girls amaze me in this way! So we're working on that with her.

Norah's vocabulary is growing every day. She's always managed to get her point across but now she's using words and phrases more and babbling too. Pretty new to this month is the singing and dancing around the house. I don't know what she's singing but she sure does.

Bryan was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism several weeks ago so he is taking medicine to help with that. Slowly but surely it's working we think.

Luke continues to crack me up with his observations about life. Today he came out with his underwear on inside out and backwards and his t-shirt tucked into it and said he was having issues. Yep, I think he was:) He talks just about constantly and changes subjects so fast it's hard to keep up.

I am trying to finish up my master's portfolio this month and then I will have earned my master's for May graduation. Yaaaaay!

Just wanted you to know I hadn't fallen off the face of the earth:)

Pets

2009-12-30T20:14:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I'm not much of a pet person. Unfortunately, we have a pet. Anyway, Luke got his dad's love for animals, not mine lack thereof. So I wasn't surprised when I noticed him standing at the windowsill one day quietly talking to a ladybug he'd found. He told me its name was Ladybug the Tramp. Later, when he came out of his bedroom and closed the door, I asked what he was doing. He said, "Shhh, Ladybug the Tramp is sleeping." He'd tucked it into his bed. He went in to check on it later and told me with a chuckle, "He pooped on my bed!"

This kid cracks me up. On another pet-related note, my friend Bridget gave him one of those little creatures that you put in water and it expands. It was a turtle and Luke liked watching it grow. When we took him out of the water, Luke said something about his turtle named Soggy. What an appropriate name:)

Sibling Moments

2009-12-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

Yes they are in a box, but aren't they cute?!

We moved Norah into a big girl bed in early November. She was very excited about it. Luke wanted to read a story to her.

Imagination at Work

2009-12-30T19:58:00.000-08:00

When we were visiting my parents, I found the kids in this corner of the bedroom they sleep in. They had gathered a bunch of pillows on the floor and put the air mattress on top to make a "car." They were driving it and told me they'd get me a cherry Coke:)

I love Luke's imagination.

All Wrapped Up

2009-12-30T19:54:00.000-08:00

This is how gift wrapping went when I was trying to get just a couple things wrapped...

Thanksmas

2009-12-30T19:38:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, the Tompkins side of the family decided that during our once-a-year Thanksgiving celebration, we would add some Christmas in too, hence the name Thanksmas. We've changed it up a little each year.

This year we had dinner out at the Casino Aztar, which is great because I didn't have to do any cooking or cleaning:) Then we went back to Grandma Tompkins' retirement home and had a Christmas celebration and played games.

Bryan's dad Geoff made it to the festivities but Stacy wasn't feeling well. The kids had so much fun hanging out with their grandpa. It didn't take them long to warm up at all. It was great to see the whole family.

My Own Little Linus

2009-12-06T19:45:00.001-08:00

Luke was in his first Christmas program this weekend. It was the Christmas story, complete with Joseph, Mary, shepherds, angels and wise men. At practice yesterday, Luke fussed and threw a fit because he didn't like his burlap costume. I finally ended up getting him to cooperate somewhat by bribing him with a Hot Wheels when we went to the store later. I wasn't sure how the actual performance was going to go.

Luckily, Luke's friend Logan wanted to come see the program, so Luke was really excited about that. And we told him Logan could come over and play for a while after the program if he cooperated. It totally worked. He wore his costume and carried his bunny and a car for security:) He could've been cast as a statue. He barely moved the entire time. After the performance, people asked me if we had drugged him!

He did a great job. Later when I was cleaning the play room, I overheard Lucy say to Linus on "A Charlie Brown Christmas" - "...and what kind of shepherd has a stupid blanket?!" Ours did:)

Three Little Turkeys

2009-11-30T16:37:00.000-08:00

Luke, Norah and Audrey at Grandma's house

Thanksgiving weekend

Luke and Norah love playing with their cousin Audrey. Norah likes to put her doll in Audrey's car seat and in the baby swing. They all had fun hanging out together.

Lots of Leaves

2009-11-18T18:57:00.000-08:00

This was our idea of a good time a few Sundays ago on a beautiful November day. Fun!

Little Pepsi Man

2009-11-18T18:44:00.000-08:00

This morning Luke casually said, "I miss Daddy. I want him to come home from Pepsi."
I thought Pup would appreciate that so I texted him and told him. He called me and said that he had to go out to the Expo Center to fill up machines but there wasn't much work to do out there. He said that Luke could go out there with him for a little bit.

Meanwhile, I told Luke he was going out to help Daddy at Pepsi. He said, "Do I need to wear a Pepsi shirt?" So I found him a navy fleece like Pup's navy Pepsi fleece.

I dropped Luke off at the Expo Center with Luke and he and his daddy worked together for a while. They looked so cute walking together in their navy jackets, Luke just chatting away.

Trick-or-Treat!

2009-10-31T19:56:00.001-07:00

For Halloween this year, Luke dressed up as Max from Where the Wild Things Are and Norah dressed up as a cow. We took Luke to see the new Wild Things movie and although it was a bit intense, he liked it. He was really into being Max as we trick-or-treated around the neighborhood. He howled at every house as we left. Norah learned the word cow this month as we talked about Halloween. As I got her costume out of the closet today she said "MOO!" Very cute.

Rain Rain Go Away

2009-10-31T19:51:00.000-07:00

It's been raining like crazy this week. Our basement flooded 3 times in 1o days. Like standing water flooded, not just got damp. Yikes. We think it's fixed now, but still... What a mess.

Anyway, after several consecutive days of rain and wishing I could splurge for galoshes for the kids, I got out what we had as we headed over to a friend's house Friday. Norah wore winter boots and a strawberry raincoat. Luke got to wear mud boots that his friend Sam handed down to him.

Finally Fall

2009-10-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

This week was really rainy here, but when the sun came out and we went outside, the ground was covered with beautiful yellow and orange leaves. Our street looked amazing. I love this time of year - it's just too short!

Norah the Little Momma

2009-10-24T20:31:00.000-07:00

When Nic and Audrey visited this week, Norah was really helpful. Nic called her the Little Momma. She would throw diapers away for Nic or pat Audrey's back when she was upset. It was really cute.

Luke always enjoys Audrey's company too. This morning I had Audrey in my bed with me after I fed her a morning bottle and Luke crawled into bed with us. He just kept saying to Audrey, "You crack me up." That girl has an older brother in Luke whether she wants one or not I think!

Time with my sis

2009-10-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

Nic and Audrey came to visit for a couple days this week. I really enjoy the relationship my sister and I have. She's one of the few people in the world I can be totally honest, frank, giddy, grumpy, whatever around and still feel like she loves me. We can talk about anything, vent, cry, laugh about stupid things, and mostly just sit around and enjoy our kids together. It just takes a sonic cherry coke to make us both happy. It's always fun to be around someone who loves your kids as much as you do:)

Autumn Days

2009-10-24T19:50:00.000-07:00

Today was a truly beautiful fall day here in Murray. It seems like the leaves changed overnight (or maybe I just noticed:)). We had plans to go to Malaika's 3rd birthday party and to the church fall party. The day was perfect for playing outside, taking hayrides and being with friends.

The kids loved decorating pumpkins at Malaika's party, then eating cake! They surprised us by not wanting to take a hayride though. That would've gone better if one of us had been on with them.

After the party, we walked home and the kids took a nap. Then we went out to the Reinhardts home for CCC's fall party. The kids had a lot of room to run and play. We ALL went on the hayride this time and it was really fun. Luke and Norah made some new friends that used to go to CCC. It was a fun time.

Rainy Day Play

2009-10-14T14:48:00.001-07:00

We stayed in almost all day today. I don't think Norah has been feeling good, but the dr. couldn't find anything ailing her. She did say to not take Nor out for a couple days. When I found out that Pierson, who the kids had been playing with yesterday, had the flu, I was glad to stay in.
We made some roads with these favorite blocks. Then Luke wanted to get inside the box. Then Norah had to get in of course.

Pottying Outside

2009-10-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's just easier to bring the potty to the kid than the kid to the potty.

Uno in the Tent

2009-10-04T18:40:00.000-07:00

Pup put his tent up in Luke's room today as a treat to Luke. It's really big and Luke is enjoying it. He took a nap in there and when he got up I noticed he'd filled the inside pockets of the tent with his cars. We played Uno in there later. Luke won!

I would really like my kids to be board game players. We played dominoes at Aaron's house recently and taught Luke Uno a couple weeks ago. We have Chutes and Ladders but that takes some patience for Luke. He likes Memory, which is one of my favorites. He's really pretty good at puzzles; we enjoy doing those together.
I love just sitting down and doing that stuff together.

Sneaking Cake

2009-10-04T18:22:00.001-07:00

Luke found this box of lemon cake in the fridge that Pup had been snacking on and just leaving open in the fridge. I'd caught him getting bites of it a couple times. Well, the other day when I took a bathroom break, I heard him in the fridge and knew he was getting a bite of cake. When I got out of the bathroom, I found him under Norah's crib with the box of cake and a jug of milk!

Sweet Moments

2009-10-04T17:34:00.000-07:00

Luke and Norah love their baby cousin Audrey. Nic and Brad brought Audrey for her first visit in August. We all went swimming at Bridget's pool and had a big time!

Buddies

2009-10-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

These are some of the kids' friends. Luke and Norah spend a lot of time Cate. Kristin and I walk almost every morning, so the kids have seen each other almost every day for their whole lives! The hammock picture also has Evalyn in it. The kids love hanging out with her too.

The Carousel

2009-10-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

These pictures are some of my favorite from our trip to St. Louis. The kids hadn't ever been on a carousel. If you get to the zoo when it opens, you can ride the carousel for free the first hour!

St. Louis - The Four of Us

2009-10-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

We took a vacation to St. Louis in September and had a blast with the kids. We went during the week and it was great! We knew the kids would have a blast just playing in our hotel room and swimming in the indoor pool. After we got settled in our room, we drove to downtown St. Louis and ate dinner at The Spaghetti Factory. We were the first ones to be seated for dinner and the hostess let us sit in the trolley - Luke was thrilled!

Then we walked down to the arch. It was really pretty down there. The kids were happy to have a place to run their cars around. When we got back to the hotel, the kids were ready to swim.

The next day we went to the zoo. It was a gorgeous day. I was so excited to watch the kids see all the animals in real life. Luke was hoping to see the elephants and rhinos. Unfortunately the rhinos were asleep somewhere we couldn't see them. But we did see the elephants. And Luke really enjoyed the snake house. Yuck! Norah really liked the fish.

That night we got Little Caeser's pizza (yum!) that we never get to have in Murray. And the kids swam again.

The next day we went to the Science Center. We got there a bit too early so we played at the Science Park outside. The discovery room inside was especially for Luke's age and had lots of neat things to play with.

It was nice to take a vacation and come home not needing another one because we'd been too busy.

Another Boundary

2009-09-28T13:33:00.000-07:00

I've made another boundary, one that I foresee will be harder to keep than my shopping one. This boundary is an answer to my unhappiness with my body. Nearly every naptime for 3.5 years I have sat down to relax with a snack. I think my momma roll is definitely being kept alive by this terrible habit. It's a terrible habit because I always want something chocolate or sweet (not carrots or celery or anything nutritious) and because it's basically just a reward to myself for getting through half a day! So, I'm going to try to replace this snack with blogging. Or reading or something. But blogging would keep my hands busy and solve the other problem I have of not having enough opportunity to blog! We'll see... If many days go by without a blog entry, feel free to call and interrogate me with what I've been doing with my time:)

Carving

2009-09-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at church, I listened to the last of a 4-session conference by Norm Wakefield on marriage. The first three sessions were good, but certain points from the last one have really stuck with me. He talked about idolatry in a way that I had to really work at understanding. He said that anytime we are trying to get something out of others that is something God should be supplying, we are idolizing. This took a while to sink in but the more he talked, the more I got it. He pointed out that we manipulate and control people with our words, actions, etc. to get what we want, and when we don't get what we want, we don't really want to invest in them anymore. This really spoke to me concerning some of my closest relationships. He talked about how he and his wife were headed toward divorce after 7-8 years of marriage because they had been carving on each other and manipulating one another for years. He defined carving as the times when you use positive things like smiles, compliments, acts of service or negative things like malice, anger, pouting to get what you want. Of course the positive things can be very positive if they're not being used to get what you want.

All this left me with a lot to ponder and I was thankful for that. But one example in my own life really stood out. Last week, a few days of the week during Luke's naptime, he'd nonchalantly wander out of his room to find me reading on the couch. "What's up, Mom?" he's say. To which I would answer, "You need to be taking a nap." Then,"I want to give you a kiss." While I get my kiss, he hugs me and says I'm the best mommy ever. Of course this melted my heart the first day and he must've overheard me talking about it to a friend or Pup. Anyway, as much as I want to believe he loves me that much, he was manipulating me! Today, he came out and wanted to visit. Of course I want to visit with him, but not during naptime:) I guess my lesson learned is that this manipulation/carving stuff starts EARLY.

Not only do I need to be aware of my carving of other people but also and especially my children.

Pop-Pop

2009-09-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

It has been true for me that some things with the second child aren't as exciting as they were the first time around. Norah starting to walk was exciting (and daunting) for me because she was only a little over 9 mos. old. Her first tooth was neat but I didn't keep track of all of them coming in as well as I did for Luke. But communication, that never ceases to amaze me. I love hearing Norah's little voice. She's mastered a few words like baby, bubby, momma, and daddy. But I love trying to figure out what she's saying and helping her communicate. Her communication is getting better every day. She's telling us when she wants up, down, or out of something. She has her own little abbreviated please and thank you. We're working on other people's names now. She and Luke went to my parents' house the weekend and I couldn't get much out of her besides Deb for my mom, but she was giving Pa a try and it sounded like "Pop-pop."

Today she confirmed her name for my dad when we walked out of the grocery. An older man with gray hair and a baseball cap was walking in as we were leaving. She waved to him and I heard her say "Pop-pop." No big surprise really. She's been quite a grandpa's girl since day one, but more and more the last few visits. This daddy's girl definitely understands:)

Community

2009-09-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

The community of people we have in Murray is really important to us. It's awesome to have a small group of people we've known for 10+ years, a core group that went to college together and have ended up here in Murray. Our cell group at church that meets on Wed. evenings is pretty big now as more families have joined and families are growing. We currently have 19 adults, 9 kids ages 4 and under, and 3 babies due in the next few months. One thing our group has struggled with is how to have a meeting, feel like we're being productive, and really just be able to concentrate and have some worship time. The solution we have now is to have two older couples from another group watch the kids on a couple Wed. of the month, then two moms take a turn, then two dads. This is working pretty well. The adults get some time to worship and pray, and the kids get time to play and run around together.

Pup and I started reading this book called So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore by Wayne Jacobsen after I read a book by him that I really got a lot out of. It's a fictional work about a pastor who starts to really question what he's doing in ministry and an account of his conversations with a stranger he comes to know and thinks could be John the beloved. (It's fiction, remember?:))

Anyway, the pastor and his friends end up starting a home church that seems a lot like our cell group. John comes to talk to their group and answers questions about what to do with the kids in a way that surprises them. He pretty much tells them that maybe their meetings should look more like a family getting together than a meeting. If they are just having a meeting to feel productive, don't bother. God wants relationships and He wants us to be sharing our journeys with each other. I've been mulling this over.

Saturday night several of us from cell got together at Aaron's house for a bonfire. It got rained out prety quickly so we all made ourselves comfortable inside, the kids with a movie, the girls chatting, some playing cards. Kristin and I started playing cribbage, then others started dominoes. (We're a wild crowd, huh!) Later, Luke came up to the table and I asked if he wanted to play with us. We taught him dominoes and he actually did a good job playing. The whole time, though, I was appreciating that I could sit with my girlfriends on a Sat. night and they not only welcomed Luke joining us, but encouraged him as he played. I appreciate that he's getting big enough to play with us. I appreciate that we're spending time with people who are good examples for us and our kids.

That book I'm reading kept talking about not focusing on a meeting so much as sharing life together, the life we live in the Father. That's how I felt on Saturday evening when I was with my friends. To me, it was a better lesson for Luke to see us all playing and listening and talking about real things than most Sunday school lessons. These are just some of the things I'm pondering lately...

Boundaries

2009-09-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

I started reading this book that is so so good for me called Boundaries. For a person plagued with people pleasing this book is perfect. I am learning that I have the ability to draw boundaries to protect myself from things that upset me. One example of my new boundary is avoiding shopping. No window shopping. I can go shopping when I have the money and list to go. This boundary keeps me from getting depressed when I shop and can't get the things I want. Kind of a no-brainer huh?

I haven't finished the book yet but am anxious to learn more. I am making more boundaries, but they are personal and I think they are really good for me. It's like standing up for yourself. I like that. And I want to be able to teach my kids that and not live with an awful helpless feeling sometimes.

Luke's Latest Antics

2009-09-08T19:15:00.000-07:00

To the Batcave!

Here's Luke being a turtle. That's what he told me anyway:) See his couch cushion shell???

I love how Luke lines up his cars, trucks, and trains. It reminds me of something I'd do:) He is watching a Thomas movie and decided to line up his Thomas trains under the tv stand like they line up at the Shed in the movie.

A Few of My Favorite Things

2009-09-08T19:02:00.001-07:00

We found this cute place to shop called The Wharf. I don't know how many stores we went into and looked at purses, bags, and jewelry before we it got old:) I came home with a new purse and wallet, Holly a new bag, and Kim three new purses and a new wallet. Fun!

On the last day of our trip I got up early and went for a walk on the beach. I got to play in the surf and sit in the sand and dig for shells. It was a rough goodbye for me, but I promised the ocean that I'd bring my kids back to enjoy it.

Getaway

2009-09-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

My idea of a perfect vacation is the beach. When we looked over our money and decided to cancel our beach trip with the kids, I was bummed but got over it. Taking two toddlers to the beach wouldn't be a relaxing vacation but I was looking forward to watching them enjoy the beach. Little did I know that Pup thought I should still get to go to the beach, so he arranged for some advance Christmas money and planned for me and two girlfriends to take a beach trip.

One of the best parts of the whole thing for me was that I didn't have to plan it, worry about money or always be thinking two steps ahead to what needed done next. The beauty of it all was summed up for me when I agreed with the girls to go in and get ready for supper and said, "I'm getting cold, and my butt is totally asleep." They said, "You never sit down long enough for your butt to sleep." True.

We leisurely shopped, at shops we could never afford, and many that we could. We enjoyed nice dinners of seafood and steak, and no one needed me to stop in the middle for me to help them in the potty:) We slept and read and played in the waves. It was a true vacation for me. Thanks Pup!!!

My Excitement Overfloweth...

2009-08-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

I must be a true nerd if going to class really gets me this excited. It's because I love school and post-its and pencils and pens and school supplies and notebooks. I think about how in a couple years I will label all of Luke's new school supplies for kindergarten with a Sharpie.

I started my LAST master's class tonight and I'm SO excited. Here's why. I know you probably don't care, but I need to let some of this out. You have to know that I've been making a very concerted effort not to be worried about this portfolio that I have to submit to graduate. Tonight I found out that I'm not the only one who has no clue how to operate the expensive program I have to buy just for this final portfolio. Nor am I the only one who hasn't gotten the first thing completed:)

Also, I found out we only meet 3 more times!!! So I don't have to worry about what to do in two Thursdays when I get to GO TO THE BEACH!!!

The guy who is in charge of teaching about this new expensive program is so old and so cute. Very helpful and informative, and doesn't talk over our heads. I really liked him.

I guess you can see my true nerdy colors now. I love school. I guess that's why I've pretty much been in school since I was 5 and pretty much plan on being there til I'm 60. Good thing I like it.

Progress

2009-08-20T06:26:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that potty training Luke has been my least favorite endeavor as a mom. Mostly because I feel I've been so unsuccessful at it. I've tried encouraging, giving incentives, prizes, trips to Toys R Us, candy, stickers. I've tried taking movies away, taking toys away. He's been without all of his Transformers, all of his Thomas trains, all of his GeoTrax trains. And still he doesn't care.

Anyway, I think we're making progress. Here's what happened this morning. I told him to go to the potty all by himself, he went to the bathroom and peed, washed his hands, picked out fresh underwear, and put them on all by himself. That's progress for us!!! As we got into this potty-training process I realized that there are many little steps Luke needed to master - like pulling his underwear up and down, holding it until we get to the bathroom, telling me he needs help.

We are still working on some things, but there has been progress:) Yaaaaay!

Me in 31 words or less:)

2009-08-19T12:29:00.001-07:00

Mom is working on a scrapbook page where she has people answer questions about how they see her. She returned the quiz to me today with her answers about how she sees me. For #15, the quiz says, How you would describe this person to someone looking for her in a crowded airport. For mom's, I wrote dimples:) Here's what she wrote, and besides the "very pretty" part, I thought it was so very spot-on!!!

5'4, very pretty dark haired lady with a little girl who looks just like her most likely chasing after a wild haired little boy saying luke, luke, luke!

What's Going On?!!

2009-08-19T12:04:00.000-07:00

Luke has this funny way of saying, "What's going on?" like something crazy is happening. He also holds his hands out and shakes them (you really have to see it). Anyway, he did it the day that I gave him a ride on a jet ski and we watched not one, but four airplanes fly low over us on Kenlake.

Today, after observing the weather and hearing the thunder, Luke looked out his window and the conversation went like this:

Luke (very incredulously): It's sunny AND thunder, both???

Me: Yeah, it is.

Luke: What's going on here?

Me: I don't know what's going on.

Luke: What's going on here on 7th St.?

I had no idea, but thoroughly enjoyed him trying to figure it out.

Quiet Time

2009-08-12T09:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I find that I can get a little time to focus on God while Nor is taking her morning nap and Luke is watching a show. Today, however, I don't want to leave Luke alone because I'm pretty sure he will poop in his underwear. I'm trying to keep an eye on him so he doesn't go hide somewhere. So I decided to journal a bit here about what I read this morning.

Our cell group girls are reading The Boy Who Cried Abba by Brennan Manning. I love Brennan Manning. He tells stories that really help me grasp what grace is and who God is. In The Boy Who Cried Abba, Willie Juan is a little boy who has no friends, has many physical imperfections, and gets made fun of constantly. At one of the annual Hopi festivals he attends, he meets the Medicine Man (Jesus). Here's one conversation they had: (bold and italics are mine)

Jesus: You see, Willie Juan, the Evil One, like a shrewd enemy commander, has surrounded you and discovered where you are most vulnerable. He has used your bad feelings about your scars and lame leg to tie you up in knots, chaining you to a deep sense of worthlessness. The next step can be dangerous, because you will need to let go of your hold on your life. You'll feel as if you're losing control, and the illusion of being in charge of your own future, of being the master of your own destiny, will vanish.

Willie Juan: Um, uh, what is this next step?

Jesus: Surrender yourself in unwavering trust ot El Shaddai. Trust that everything that has happened to you was necessary to bring you to this present moment. And trust that the good work that has been started within you will be brought to completion...

Later in the conversation, discussing the power of the Spirit when we ask him into our lives, Jesus says, "Calling on him can be like going to the dentist to fix your upper left molar and hearing him say after a brief inspection, 'I'm sorry, but I'll have to remove your whole mouth.' When you ask him into your life, he changes it in ways you can't even imagine."

In another part, Willie Juan shares his fajita lunch with Jesus. Jesus tells him, "When you get to heaven, Little Friend, your Abba will not ask you how many prayers you said, or how many souls you saved. He'll ask, 'Did you enjoy the fajita?' He wants you to live with passion, in the beauty of the moment, accepting and enjoying his gifts.

Willie Juan asks Jesus why he didn't come with a trumpet show and angels, to which Jesus replies, "I didn't want to frighten you, my friend...Isn't it difficult to be a friend to someone who has all the answers, who's always totally unafraid, invulnerable, needing nothing adn nobody, always in control of every situation? With a person like that you don't feel comfortable or needed...it is the deepest desire of my heart to be known, loved and wanted as I really am. "

Quote I want to internalize: Simply accept that you are accepted. No matter what:)

Alright, now to go check on Luke on his potty...

Smile

2009-08-11T18:45:00.001-07:00

Here are some pics that make me smile.

Fun at Venture River

2009-08-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

The kids and I meet Mom and Dad at Venture River last week. It was a beautiful day to be there with no big crowds. It was Norah's first time there and as expected, she loved the frog slide. She probably went on it 30 times! Luke still really enjoyed that slide but also the whole kid area. We rode the family ride, all 5 of us, and Luke just giggled as we slipped and slid around while Nor yelled about it. Both kids showed their brave streak which usually gets them in trouble - Luke feeling so comfortable he wants to wander around by himself and Norah wanting to lean over the water and put her face in but then losing her balance and not being able to recover. I think we all had a really great time!

Communication

2009-08-11T17:32:00.001-07:00

I love watching how the kids are developing in their communication. Today Luke totally cheered me from a down mood. We were sitting at the dining room table eating ice cream, being considerably quiet for my house:) Then Luke looked at me and said, "How's your day?"
Mom: Ok, how's yours?
Luke: Bad. I was fussy and whiny.
Mom: Well, you can change right now and have a better day.
Luke (rather surprised): Oh, ok!

Later as I was getting Norah changed, I gave her a book to read. When we were done, I put her on the floor and she walked over to the glider with her book. She patted the glider and said, "Momma." She was telling me in 16-mo.-old language that she was ready to hear a story. So we read.

Norah's New Favorites

2009-08-11T17:24:00.000-07:00

I discovered this week that Norah can't get enough corn on the cob or mandarin oranges. She tried corn on the cob for the first time at Bridget's the other night and loved it. It didn't bother her that she was eating it vertically instead of horizontally:)

Tonight we had an easy meal night with Totinos pizzas, so I thought I'd make it a LITTLE more nutritious and get the kids some fruit. I opened a small can of mandarin oranges, and Norah asked for more several times. Actually, until the whole can was gone except for Luke's portion:) Good girl, Nor.

Night and Day

2009-08-02T15:09:00.000-07:00

I've been asked several times if Luke and Norah are like night and day. Usually I answer "No," and talk about ways they are the same. Frankly, there are many similarities AND differences between them.Some of the ways they are undoubtedly brother and sister are they beautiful blue eyes they inherited from their dad. And their curly hair (Luke's to a much greater degree:)). Their laughs are exactly the same and I love that. They both love being outside and are crazy ticklish.Norah is a quiet observer. Luke tries to have conversations with complete strangers. Norah's lip quivers at the slightest tone of disapproval. Luke wouldn't dream of listening the first 3 times he's reprimanded. Norah eats anything and everything. Luke likes what he likes and wants it daily until he's ready to move on. Norah really doesn't care to watch tv unless Luke is watching. Luke would stand inches from the screen all day if I let him. Norah gets her groove on to the smallest melody. Luke knows just about every type of transportation in existence it seems. So, yes, they are like night and day sometimes. But mostly they're just their own little people:)

Secure

2009-07-30T12:42:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to be more secure. I'm a terribly insecure person. But I want to change, so I thought I'd "vocalize" it and get it out there. After I blog, I think I'll go find some verses on being secure to start memorizing. Anyway, I want to be more secure about

how I look - I have thought I was fat all my life. I can only see all the things that need to be perfected. And with my addiction to Coke and chocolate, those things aren't going to get any better. I want to be secure with my momma roll and just know I'm doing my best to stay fit and enjoying life at the same time. With that, I have asked a few people to remind me that I don't have to cover myself up like a nun every time I go to the pool. I'm in the same boat as everyone else, nobody looks perfect. And if they do, they're probably 18 and haven't had the privilege of being pregnant and having babies.

parenting - I like routines, so that's what I've strived for raising my kids. But I also appreciate flexibility. So if we are doing something different, I'm glad they can adjust. I'm always comparing and evaluating like I'm not doing anything right. Especially with discipline. Am I too lenient? Should I say NO more? Should I spank more? I want to again realize I'm doing my best and what I think is best for my kids.

what I want - I'm terrible at saying no. I'll do whatever I have to to accommodate people, even if it inconveniences me. Sometimes that is a nice thing to do, but not every time. I want to say NO more and not feel bad about it.

how things look - If my family is going to be part of a transparent community, we can't be obsessed with everything looking perfect. I'm not perfect. My marriage isn't perfect. My kids aren't perfect. What I say isn't perfect. So there. Sometimes I'm in a bad mood. Sometimes I'm fed up with all the things I've had to take care of that day. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person, just that I'm normal.

Enough rambling for now. Thanks for listening.

It Won't Be Like This For Long...

2009-07-30T12:27:00.000-07:00

That's what God told me through a Darius Rucker song yesterday. My helpful neighbor girl Bailey and I got the kids ready to go to Wed. evening Prayer, Praise and Pie at church. Pup wasn't home from work yet and was going to meet us there. Thankfully Bailey wanted something to do so she helped me out with the kids. After we buckled the kids in and I got ready to drive, I listened to what was on the radio. And it was this song. I knew God was telling me something.

It won't be like this for long...
My kids won't be 1 and 3 for long,
I won't be cleaning up poop for long,
I won't feel like I'm negotiating all the time for long,
they won't be at home all day with me for long,

One day I will be able to
go to the bathroom without worrying whether anyone will get hurt in that couple minutes
take as many showers as I want to in a week
leisurely walk through the store
stay seated through an entire meal
afford dinners and vacations
sit through church services and pay attention
and all the while I bet I will look back on THESE very times that won't last long.

I often feel like my life is chaos, not in a bad way, just in an I-can't-possibly-control-everything way. Sometimes I have to stop and remember that it's not really doable to get several things done with them. Sometimes it is, and we can knock out a whole to-do list and all have good attitudes. Sometimes it's not, and the most we can do is re-evaluate the to-do list and only do the essential things like eat dinner and go potty.

Don't get me wrong, Luke and Norah are the best gifts I've ever received. I love them with all my heart, even when I'm cleaning up poop. But they are work:) Constant and demanding, adorable and charming.

Oh, and about that pic up there. I thought it was appropriate because it pretty well depicts life. At VBS, Luke had an accident, I was out of extra clothes for him, so he walked around in a pull-up. Just another day in our world:)

Teachable Moments

2009-07-30T10:22:00.000-07:00

The teacher in me beamed this morning when Luke came to me with the Because of Winn-Dixie dvd case and asked what Winn-Dixie started with. Teachers hear a lot about teachable moments in the classroom - how random moments or tangents can be good if we make the most of them. I'm all about that. If my kid wants to learn his letters off of a movie case, that's fine with me. So we spent the next few minutes looking for different letters on the movie case. Good boy Luke:)

Christmas in July

2009-07-20T16:32:00.001-07:00

Today my friends Twilla and Hannah brought over some of Hannah's old toys for the kids. Only Norah was awake and she was timid, but after they left and Luke woke up, they started to realize these toys were for them. And they started to argue over them:)

They love the alphabet computer, Mr. Potato Head, books, and collapsible k'nex-like ball. Norah has been able to keep the purses all to herself:) Their favorite thing is the school bus tent.

I put a couple things in the basement so maybe they could have Christmas in another weird month too:)

A Culmination of Thoughts

2009-07-16T07:16:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how easily I fall into caring about what others think. How trapped I feel wanting to make sure I say and do the right things. It's exhausting really.

At the same time, I've been reading a novel by Jodi Picoult called Nineteen Minutes. One of the main characters is struggling with keeping up an image so she can be in the popular crowd. She is constantly plagued by the thought that at any moment people will find her out and she will be shoved down the ladder of popularity.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, I've just been thinking a lot. Our small group has been trying to figure out how to best use our time and how to be the kind of community God wants. Last night we talked a lot about what a real community is - a fellowship of the heart. This involves being exposed, sharing your real life, praying for one another, knowing things will get messy. I feel like I've lived most of my life trying to make everything look perfect. Trying not to be emotional when things aren't going my way. Trying to be strong all the time. Trying to make it seem like I never get frustrated with my husband or that my kids don't get on my nerves occasionally. And it's exhausting.

One more thing. This fellowship of the heart, being real. I want that for my family. For my kids. I want them to know it's ok when life gets messy. We will get through it together.
Ever since I had Luke, I have really tried to not have regrets. I think that ties back into how sometimes I hold back because I care what others think. That's enough rambling for now. It feels good to get it out of my head.

AJ

2009-06-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

When I text Nic about Audrey Juliet I usually just type "aj." The other day it occurred to me that "aj" also abbreviates Aunt Jac! It doesn't take much to excite me in all this aunt business!

Nic and Brad brought Audrey home on Sat. the 27th at 9 pm. My family + Brad's parents waited at Nic's house for them to get home. We enjoyed the great treat basket Nic left, played with Luke and Norah and just waited.

What a moment when Momma Nic walked in, full of joy, finally satisfied, with her husband and brand new baby girl.

I tried to be patient as the grandpas and grandmas held her, then I finally got my turn. I know the joy of holding a brand new baby, of feeling that contentment. This time was sweet in its own way b/c there aren't the same rules for being an aunt as there are for being a mom. As a mom, I want things orderly and organized, to be in a routine. More than that, both times I have been a new mom, I have found myself worrying about how much they eat, when they sleep, how long they sleep, how long I can sleep... The list goes on and I'm pretty sure the worrying won't ever stop, it will just change topics. Anyway, those things aren't my priority with this baby. I can hold her while she sleeps as long as I want. The rules are different. I'm really liking this!

Another sweet thing about that night was watching Luke with Audrey. He really had a grasp on Audrey coming, on how we'd been waiting a long time. And he was so glad she was here. This week he said things like, "Nic be so happy" and "her be so cute." He'd had enough practice with Norah to know how to be gentle and sweet. Good boy:)

VBS

2009-06-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

Encouraging and exposing my children to godly things and people is very high on my Things- I-Want-To-Do-as-a-Mom list. So when the children's church committee was discussing vacation bible school, I was excited about the opportunity for Luke. The week's activities focused on us being God's treasure.

Capt. Biddy and Annie the Fierce:)

did an awesome job getting the kids' attention.

This was Luke's first time to really have to pay attention and he did alright. His expression here cracks me up.

Norah loves blurps

2009-06-24T14:26:00.001-07:00

Luke started giving Norah blurps on her belly. The greatest part is that Norah loves it! Now she goes around raising people's shirts and trying to blurp on them:)

Father's Day 09

2009-06-24T14:13:00.001-07:00

We celebrated Father's Day last week on Friday in case my sister called and her baby was coming. Thankfully Pup got off work early b/c he had too much overtime already, so we had the whole evening to hang out. Earlier in the day, Luke helped me pick out a frisbee golf disc for Daddy. He picked a hot pink one with a Transformer-looking guy on the front. Then I took Norah into the comic book store to get Daddy a gift certificate and dvd. She wouldn't let go of the Transformers dvd. She probably recognized the characters b/c we watch it all the time! Anyway, Daddy loved all his gifts (and so did Luke!).

Some Alone Time

2009-06-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

One thing I like about having Luke and Norah only two years apart is that they take baths together. And they really like it!

Poor Norah deals with Luke pouring cups of water over her head and getting her toys snatched away. Still, she likes bathtime. The other day I gave her a bath all by herself and she REALLY liked that one:)

Nagging Thoughts

2009-06-15T09:44:00.001-07:00

Often I am overwhelmed by the community that we have here in Murray. I love our church and the people I've become very close to. I've finally learned that real intimacy happens when you open up to people and let them see the real you. The you that has flaws and issues and gets in a bad mood when she doesn't get her way. The you that's obsessed with chocolate and Coke and misses the way things used to be.

Ugly thoughts are nagging at the back of my mind today. Like do I really know the people that I think I do? That makes my heart heavy. I hope I do. Today I'm missing my friend I thought I knew so well. A friend that maybe I do know but am wondering about lately. A friend that I've enjoyed my favorite things with - the beach, scrapbooking, and sharing my sweet kids. I sure hope things get better soon.

Compromise

2009-05-31T07:20:00.001-07:00

Luke and I went to some yard sales yesterday morning. It wasn't a really successful time, but it was fun. Luke thought Norah would like this little dollhouse, so we got it for her. He liked it too. This morning he's been playing pretty quietly, so I keep checking up on him. Here's what I found. A bunch of army guys playing in Norah's dollhouse. I think that's just the beginning of toy compromises in my world:)

Searching

2009-05-24T16:56:00.000-07:00

I think I only have one blog reader who will instantly recognize this photo. But many of you know about my affection for this place. This is my Uncle Derb's house. He's been gone for 11 years now. When I found out that my friend Carrie moved to Middletown I knew she was probably near where Uncle Derb's house was. So after I had dinner with Carrie, I took a drive.
And my memory got me to the house. I saw the Moby Dick restaurant, then a red barn-like antique store and a VFW lodge. I knew I was going the right way when I saw Marengo Dr., then Meadow. I had to navigate the maze of streets twice but knew I was so close. That verse about searching like you're looking for lost money kept running through my head. I just wanted to see the house. Then I saw Willow Brook and knew I was almost there. When I looked right and saw a grassy field leading to the park where Uncle Derb always walked his dalmatian, I knew I was there. Sure enough, to the left was his old house. Almost like home for my mom. Definitely full of memories of wonderfully prepared meals, laughter, Skip Bo, pet parrots, and a hundred other things that made the place special.
I don't know why, I just had to find it.

Luke's Perspective

2009-05-22T07:24:00.001-07:00

Today Luke came in to tell me he spilled some milk which he thought was pretty funny. I went in to clean it up and as I was wiping it up with a wet washcloth, he said "Nice heart Mom." Apparently I had made a heart shape as I was cleaning. And that was what he noticed. Childhood perspective never ceases to amaze me.

Hopscotch

2009-05-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

The other day I drew out hopscotch for Luke to play on. Jamie inspired me with sidewalk chalk fun at cell group the other night.

Today when we were playing outside, Luke was looking around and asked, "Where's our jump?" It took me a minute to translate that. He wondered where the hopscotch had gone. So we had some more fun with the chalk. Norah enjoyed eating the chalk - not good.

Then I drew out some circles and numbered them for him to hop on. He wanted his birthday number, so I went to 12. Then he wanted Daddy's number so I made circles up to 16. As soon as I made the 13, he looked at it from the side and thought I made the McDonald's arch. Wow, he really is my kid:)

Norah's First Birthday

2009-04-18T19:21:00.001-07:00

After that last blog entry, I needed to talk about a little sunshine. Norah's first birthday was 10 days ago and I don't see any possibility of scrapping about it soon, so I might as well blog about it.

We started the day with a walk and then picked up the Cake Lady cookies I ordered her. They were bright pink with a white 1 and polka dots. Very cute. She thoroughly enjoyed that cookie, and so did I:)

Later that afternoon, Luke took his nap and she wasn't ready for her afternoon nap yet, so I decided to take her outside to play. I hooked up her new pink swing to the swingset and let her swing. She just giggled and laughed and enjoyed the ride.

That was about it. We didn't take her to DQ to get her first baby cone until a few days later. It was a little cool that day, but that didn't stop her from devouring her ice cream cone.

My Chuck E Cheese Experience

2009-04-18T19:13:00.000-07:00

Tonight was my first and hopefully last Chuck E Cheese experience. Here are a few quotes from my mouth tonight:

Me to Christi: "Do you think anyone would notice if the girls just went to Olive Garden?"
Me to Kim: "This is hell."
Me to pretty much everyone: "Where's Luke?" (repeated several times to his dad in particular)
Me to Aaron: "This is a mother's nightmare."
Me to pretty much everyone: "What?"
Me to Pup several times: "Are you ready to go yet?"
Me to Nate and Sabrina: "I would be fine never to come back here again."
Me to Aaron: "I don't care how much Luke Ellis begs me to come here, I'm not doing it."

There were some highlights. Like playing Skee Ball and the sketch picture machine. And the fact that Luke called Chuck E Cheese "Chunk n cheese." The most important thing is that Pup had a great time, and it was his birthday we were celebrating.

An Unexpected New Season

2009-04-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

I haven't had much time lately to blog or even be reflective in my own mind because of this season of life. Two kids under 3, two part-time jobs, maintaining the house, a master's class. Very hectic but worth it certainly.

One thing I had taken the time to reflect on was my car vanity. A few weeks ago I started thinking it would be pretty handy to have a van. It takes a very skinny behind to fit between my kids in the backseat, which our neighbor babysitter thankfully has:) Plus, my friends and I want to go places sometimes and have to take multiple vehicles. I tossed the idea around a while then decided I didn't want to drive a minivan. I adore my Altima.

Yesterday I received a text from my husband at 6 something a.m. that said his car had died. This was not a shocker. I was expecting it to sometime - it sounded AWFUL when he pulled in the drive. Anyway, he thought there was a chance it could just be a belt. We knew if it was much more than that it wouldn't be worth fixing. Hours later when he could get it towed and to a mechanic, he found out his engine block had cracked. Yikes. And it would cost $900 to replace the motor. His car definitely wasn't worth it.

Here's my favorite part. The towing cost was $65. They gave us $100 for the car. We made $35 on his car. Wow. That's really something huh?

On to the new season... We went car shopping today with a budget in mind but not really a set idea of what we wanted. That's just not something we've been thinking about. After looking at our options, we decided on an Uplander. We drove it and liked it and had some discussions about whether we were old because we liked it. So, we got a van. Er, I mean, an Uplander, which is a crossover sport van to be exact. And that's exactly what I'll be calling it:)

By the way, going car shopping was amazing for Luke. He had so much fun. He just kept saying, "I wuv it!" He was very happy with our choice.

Second Child Transitions

2009-03-19T06:47:00.001-07:00

There are some really neat things I've been noticing about Norah, particularly as her being the second child. Transitions seem to be so much easier. Maybe because when Luke made transitions, they were my first transitions too. Everything was a big deal - like going from bottles to sippy cups, formula to milk, etc. Also, new routines were a big deal. Like starting to brush his teeth everyday.

Now Norah just wants to be a part of everything that's already going on. She's been grabbing her brother's sippy cups for a couple months now. She looks pretty cute in all her smallness with this big cup but that's what she wants! So that bottle to sippy cup transition that took Luke a while is nothing to Norah. With that, when Norah grabs Luke's cup and gets a drink, it's milk and she's good with that. So, another transition down (hopefully. We'll find out really soon b/c we're on our last can of formula!!!:)).

This morning Luke and I were brushing our teeth. I gave Norah her baby toothbrush and she just brushed away with us, happy to be part of what we were doing.

I say all of this while there might be a transition brewing that I'm trying to avoid. I'm not really that good at transitions... Luke's been arguing about his afternoon nap. HOPEFULLY it's because he has a cold and can't breathe when he lays down to sleep. That's what I keep telling myself. I'm not ready for that transition quite yet!

Across Five Marches

2009-03-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

Today at church we sang one of my favorite songs:

Your love is deep, your love is high
Your love is long, your love is wide

Deeper than my view of grace
Higher than this worldly place
Longer than this road I've traveled
Wider than the gap You filled

It comforted me so much when I was longing to have my first baby and was having trouble. I love the thought that God's love is longer than this road I'm traveling. It was a long journey to get Luke and I know it's made me who I am and what I believe. So I was thinking about the road I've traveled during church.

This March, I turned 31 and have two sweet peas by my side most of the day, feeling content and satisfied with where we are right now.
Last March, I was very pregnant with Norah and spent my time chasing almost-two-yr-old Luke around.
Two Marches ago, I had one sweet pea and no clue if he would be an only child or not. So I just wanted to not have any regrets or take anything for granted.
Three Marches ago, I was very pregnant with Luke. I was so excited and ready to be a momma!
Four Marches ago, I was desperate to be a momma and had no idea that in the next few months, I would make the decision to not have exploratory surgery for endometriosis, have a tubal pregnancy, and learn some lessons the hard way.

It's amazing how so much can change in just a few years.

My Dad Would Be Proud...Sort of

2009-02-26T12:05:00.001-08:00

This morning I remembered that my car had been making a husky sound when I started her, so I wanted to check her oil. Now, let me explain the sort of part first. My dad would not be proud that once again my car had just about no oil in it. And that it takes me this long to figure it out and fill her up with oil again. But, let me tell you the rest of the story.

So I go to my trunk to get oil (which I do have so that's good) and realize that my broken hood prop isn't in the trunk. It must be somewhere in the garage and I don't want to mess with finding it because I've already got the kids buckled in the car ready to run errands. So I try to let the hood rest of my head while I fill the car up but that doesn't work. Then I decide that maybe Luke can help. (What was I thinking?) He does help me by getting a branch for me to use as a makeshift hood prop. So I proceed to fill the oil, all the while missing the too-small funnel and knowing I have to also clean all that up. I finish and clean up the dirty areas with soap and water and am finally ready to leave...at least a half hour later.

There are many places in that story that I think Dad would be proud of. 1) That I had oil. 2) That I made a makeshift hood prop. 3) That I cleaned up the dirty areas with soap and water.

Sidenote: As with most frustrating stories, there was a funny moment. When Luke got out to help me, he must've made the connection between me standing there with the hood up trying to figure something out and a scene from the Transformers movie that has a girl helping with a car. In the movie she says, "Nice headers." So Luke walked up to the open hood and said, "Nice Edwards." Guess that's what he thinks she's saying. He cracks me up!

Laundry Horrors:)

2009-02-17T12:08:00.001-08:00

I was dreading going to get this ridiculously large load of laundry, all kids' stuff. But as I was down there getting it I was talking to myself about how I could sit and fold and finally grab some lunch and watch the Golden Girls. That was sounding really nice until something didn't make it into the dryer from the washer. And it wasn't a sock or shirt. It was a sealed up dirty diaper. It had gone through the washer AND the dryer with this enormous amount of the kids' clothes!!! YIKES!
Needless to say I don't have to fold that laundry now because it's washing again. With A LOT of detergent.
Off to hang out with Rose, Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia now.

This Season...and some ramblings of my heart

2009-02-15T11:54:00.000-08:00

Oh how I long for this season to last. Certainly not because I pretty much only shower twice/week. Or because from the time the kids wake up til the time they're asleep it's a constant busyness. Or because I enjoy scheduling around naptime (thank God there is naptime!). Or because I like thinking about how much more money we could have if I would go back to work.

The other day a VERY unlikely person that I work with asked me if having kids was the greatest thing I'd ever done. I shyly replied yes, and that it was also the hardest thing I'd ever done. There was more to the conversation, but right then, it occurred to me that I might be in that place at that time with my momma heart for a reason.

I want it to last because I love being a mom. I always wanted to be a mom, longed for a firstborn with all my heart, cried endless amounts of tears when other people got pregnant easily, and just knew it was what I was supposed to do. That's why it feels so strange to have two beautiful children and the plan to go back to work in 4 years. Is that what I'm looking forward to now? I don't want that to be what I'm looking forward to. Getting up, looking decent, and taking Luke and Norah to school with me so that I can teach twenty kids and bring home a paycheck? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy teaching. When I taught, I built lasting relationships with colleagues, parents, and students. But they helped fill that place in my heart that was just waiting for a baby. I don't think it will be at all the same when I go back. I think it will be good, but not nearly as good as this job I have now.

So on some days at some moments, yes, I want this MOMENT to be over. So I can wash my hair or get my thoughts together. But, this season, no way. I think these days are full of the things we'll talk about the rest of our lives.

Firsts

2009-02-15T11:33:00.001-08:00

I was thinking about how much I agree with Kristin about not wanting to forget anything. Not wanting to forget what it feels like to be a momma, to be at home with two kids under three. I tell myself often that this season won't last long and one day I'll be looking back wishing for these days of chaos. I know that's true and try to live my life that way.

Scrapbooking is the way I choose to remember. Keeping up with a scrapbook of Norah's first year and our Life book is challenging but worth it. Already, Luke enjoys looking through it and talking about things he's seen and places we've gone.

Even though Norah's firsts aren't my firsts, they are hers and they are all of ours as a family. Showing Luke how to celebrate with her and encourage her and let her learn on her own is a first. And celebrating with her is as exciting as when Luke first rolled over or got a tooth or took his first steps. Also, Luke is still having his own firsts so those are exciting.

Mom talks about lasts a lot. Like how you don't always know when a last has happened til it's too late. I try to watch for those too:)

Kindred

2009-02-15T11:20:00.001-08:00

The word for my relationship with Kristin escapes me. Friend isn't enough. Buddy definitely isn't intimate enough. Sister sounds cliche. Maybe kindred spirit fits.

Kristin and I met in November 1998 and our first excursion together was a square dance. Ha! One of our fondest college memories though.

Our friendship has stretched over states and across streets. It's been long distance and is currently very short distance. We've been single, dating, engaged, married, longing to be a mom, and moms together. Mostly all at the same time of our lives. She's the kind of friend I always needed and didn't have until God planted her in my path in college.

Our personalities are enough alike that we're good at some of the same things and bad at things like change and not getting our way. We can talk about real stuff, scary stuff, God stuff, ordinary stuff, parenting stuff, or not really anything. We cry together, laugh together and play LOTS of games of Settlers together.

For this long friendship I am thankful. I'm glad God has kept us in seasons together and woven our stories together so that each of us is in the other's. It is also a blessing that our husbands are friends, that the 4 of us combined all have friendships with one another and that our kids love each other. That's just going to make the seasons to come even better!

When it rains, it pours

2009-01-31T21:17:00.000-08:00

Surprisingly this blog entry isn't about the weather. It's about God's goodness. If you read my last entry, you saw that my sister finally got news that a birth mom chose her and Brad for her June baby. They're getting a baby, and I'm going to be an aunt!!! I'm so excited and so very relieved that a whole other kind of wait is in front of her.

Back to the title. Our hearts overflowed with joy and relief at Nic's good news. So when she called from her vacation last night and said that another mom had chosen them and that baby was due in 3 WEEKS, we could hardly believe it. Of course they were considering adopting both, but after some sleep (after their long day of travel) and discussion, they decided to stick with the June baby.

Either way, God is good. Even when we're waiting. Or disappointed. Or thinking we really had a good plan and could His be better? He's good and always proves true.

A Day in the Life during a Power Outage

2009-01-31T20:53:00.001-08:00

When the weather forecast started calling for an ice storm on Monday, I didn't really believe it. Murray never gets any great winter weather. But Tuesday I did wake up to find a lot of ice covering things, then it just sleeted and iced all day and all night long. Tuesday night as we laid in bed, we just heard branch after branch falling in the yard. The ice was having its way with our eight pine trees in the back yard.

1 am - After the power went out at 1 am, Pup and I went into the living room and he started a fire in the fireplace. The breaking of branches was a lot quieter in the living room, but then one thudded against Norah's window. I fully expected to open Norah's bedroom door and find a branch in there. Thankfully it was just touching the window outside. Then Pup and I brought the kids into the living room because he thought a tree was leaning against another in the back yard and may fall onto the house. (I've been scared of those tall pine trees in storms for a long time now.)

4 am - We decided it may not be safe here and Pup went out to find a hotel room. That's when he found out that power was out all over Murray and hotels didn't have power either. We just huddled in the living room with the kids and prayed everything would be ok. Neither of us got much sleep that night.

10 am - Kim and Aaron came over to check on us and we all piled in our cars and headed for the only open store, Kroger. Inside the darkened grocery store there were many shoppers all needing the same things: water, snacks, and food that didn't need electricity to be cooked. We were some of the lucky ones who only waited about 45 min. in line. The cashier had to manually enter every bar code for every product.

12 pm - We packed up some essentials and headed over to Aaron and Kim's to hang out for the day. Grandma Poor was making soup for supper on her gas stove, so we planned on that for dinner.

2 pm - Kim, Norah, Luke and I napped while Aaron and Pup played Magic cards by the fire (romantic, huh?)

4 pm - My sister called and I thought she was just checking on me and the power outage. But through our fuzzy connection I heard her say, "You are going to be an aunt!" She had gotten a call from her lawyer that a birth mom had chosen them for her June baby. We had been waiting for this good news for a long time!!!

6 pm - We all went over to the Poors and let Grandma feed us. Their house was so warm! Daniel, Kayla, Miliaka, Cate, Aaron, Kim and the four of us enjoyed a hot meal and warm living room.

8 pm - Pup and I brought the kids home, set up mattresses in front of the fireplace and settled in for the night. It was cold, but tolerable. Nothing a little snuggling with the kids couldn't fix.

Day 2

8 am - We all woke up to a 46 degree house and Pup told me to pack up because we were heading to Mom and Dad's. We wanted to visit his mom, but she was out of power too!

10 am - We headed to Effingham with a quarter tank of gas. We'd heard that there was gas in Puryear but also long lines. So we said a prayer and set off for the promised land of warmth, electricity, and water. We stopped in Benton to find no gas, saw signs by the Paducah exits about no fuel, and headed on toward Vienna, IL. I was nervous the whole time that we'd run out and be stuck in the cold with the kids. I called Dad to see if he'd find out whether we could get gas in Illinois. He assured me that Marion, IL had food and fuel.

11:45 am - We arrived in Marion to find life as usual. People were filling up their gas tanks, lights were on, businesses open. We filled up on gas and McDonalds.

2 pm - We made it to my parents' house and I'm not sure it ever felt so good. It felt good to be safe and not have to think about how to be warm or what to eat.

I know people have been in a thousand times worse position than what Murray just went through but I think we got a taste of how your community comes together to help each other. And a glimpse of how thin that line is from helping each other to mob mentality. I can see how it gets scary when things are scarce. Again, I can't help but be grateful for my family that opens their doors to us and to our friends that take care of us too.

Hop on the Bus

2009-01-25T18:30:00.000-08:00

In college at MCF, we went through a phase where the worship team would sing "Hop on the Bus" every week it seemed. It's an ok song, I just thought it was kinda dumb. (I wasn't the only one either!) It got so annoying that I'd conveniently go to the bathroom when they started singing it.

Nowadays, every so often, Adam will choose it to play at church when he leads worship. Again, I don't like it, but he doesn't seem to be doing it on purpose:)

Last time they played it at church, Luke got into it because of the bus picture on the slideshow. He's actually learned some of the words to it. Then at Walmart when I wanted him to get on the cart, I said, "Hop on." And I saw a twinkle in his eye as he started to sing the tune "Hop on the Bus."

I know God's just laughing at me.

Nosedive x 2

2009-01-25T18:21:00.000-08:00

Norah has taken two nosedives in the last few days. I don't have any photo documentation of these because I would've been a pretty bad mom for running for my camera instead of loving on my girl.

On Thursday, as I was packing in the back room to go to Mom and Dad's, the kids were both standing at the gate in front of the stairs that go down into my bedroom. Luke must've pushed too hard on the gate, and it fell. Both kids landed on top of it on the stairs. I was across the room, so when I heard it and saw what happened, I dashed over. But it was too late, Norah fell off the stairs a couple feet to the hardwood floor. She got a bloody and bruised nose and I felt horrible. I loved on her a while then we left for our trip and I had to check her every so often to make sure she was ok.

Tonight I got a little time to scrapbook while Pup watched the kids. I heard a distressed cry from Norah and then saw Luke coming for us and trying to communicate that Norah needed help. I walked into Luke's room to find Norah mostly in the toy box and totally in a position that she couldn't get out of. Poor Nor.

Sadness

2009-01-16T09:41:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling sad for my sister today. After 4 days of waiting to hear whether this birth mother chose her and Brad to be the parents of her already-born 4 lb. 10 oz. son, Nic found out that another family was chosen. Again. This is the third time an adoption possibility has come up and fallen through for them. And it sucks.

I am thankful for some things though. One, that God sent me on a journey that resembles Nic's enough that she feels she can talk to me about it. Obviously I haven't adopted, but Kristin has, and I went through that with her. So I'm glad Nic has people who can relate.

Another thing I'm thankful for is our family. If Nic had gotten good news, we would've dropped everything to celebrate with her. Mom would've invaded Walmart, Dad would've asked off work, and I would've packed up the kids and went on a "long drive" as Luke would say. I've come to realize that not all families go out of their way to take care of each other. I think ours does and I'm grateful for it.

Like Holly just blogged about, I believe in two things too. That there's a reason for everything and that God works it all out for good. Although that's true and a comfort, I still wish God would give my sister the desire of her heart.

Looking in a Mirror

2009-01-09T11:54:00.000-08:00

Today Luke did something that I know he gets from me. I casually look for these things in my kids. Like how Norah's little nose turns red. Mine totally does that when I'm hot or cold or pregnant. Or how Luke likes to know what the day looks like so he knows what to expect. Totally like his mom.

Today I was fixing him mac n cheese upon request and unloading groceries at the same time. He saw that I bought him some yogurt, so I let him start eating that before his mac was done. After I served him the mac, he came into the kitchen with his spoon and was saying something I didn't quite get. All the while he was trying to get his spoon in the sink. He wanted to wash the yogurt off the spoon so he could eat his mac. Totally him momma.

On a side note, did you know that Willow Tree figurines are a great size for chewing on? I can see why - they're easy to hold and have little heads that can fit in kids' mouths. Both my kids really like getting to mine, and most of my figures have been decapitated and had to have glue gun surgery. Norah's getting into them as I type...

Don't be deceived...

2009-01-05T06:53:00.001-08:00

I keep telling myself not to be deceived during this seemingly easy time with Norah. Don't be deceived that it would be easy to have a third baby. Because looking 2 years ahead to potty training, I'm feel as much like a failure as I do a success at Norah's nice schedule.

Here's why it seems easy:

Norah wakes up at almost 8 am, jumping in her bed and grinning like you're the only person she ever wanted to see.

She eats breakfast, plays and naps at 10ish.

Then she eats a snack and plays til lunch. Which now consists of pretty much what we are eating plus her bottle.

Then she plays and naps again. Sometimes at the same time as her brother.

More playing and supper. Then she fusses from about 6-7 because she'd really like to be sleeping but I want her to skip a mini nap and just go to bed at 730ish.

That's a typical day. She eats when we eat, she eats what we eat. She naps and sleeps all night. She plays with her brother til he frustrates her, then wants to be held.

See how it can be deceiving???

Bad Habits? Alzheimers? What the heck???

2008-12-23T20:07:00.000-08:00

I've been stressed out the last week or so. With Christmas comes a lot of details for the lady of the house. Buying presents, wrapping presents, decorating, baking... Then there's just the normal stuff of life. Dishes, laundry (much less with Norah on Prevacid:)), diaper changing, potty training, cooking, cleaning, etc. Then there's work - MCF work that I do with the kids around. Mailings, labels, postage, phone calls, records, etc.

When my brain is full of all this stuff, sometimes it leaves out important stuff. Like don't leave your camera in the bottom of a Walmart bag. The screen might break. Or, while you're packing kids' stuff + Christmas presents, don't forget daily pills you take. So on top of taking care of daily stuff, then I have to make time to fix the things I've broke/forgotten/find things I misplaced.

I seriously have to stop sometimes and talk to myself about which details matter. The Alzheimer's comment isn't a joke either. My grandma is suffering from it badly right now and I think it's an awful disease.

Anyway, just some thoughts...

Norah the Scavenger

2008-12-23T20:02:00.000-08:00

Norah's getting around quite well these days, and I fully expect to see her taking her first steps in the next month or so. She might make more progress if her brother would stop tackling her from behind when she's standing up by herself. Sometimes she takes it well. Sometimes she doesn't. Either way, she's definitely to the point of mobility where we can't leave drinks sitting around without them getting knocked over, can't leave snacks on the coffee table, etc.

She's found rolls and other food & drink that Luke leaves around, but I bet her favorite was the cookie she picked up at Kristin's while the kids paid attention to the tv and the adults to Settlers of Catan. I can't remember who found her, but whoever it was found a happy Norah with chocolate on her face. That's my girl:)

Norah Lou Who

2008-12-23T19:38:00.001-08:00

I put pigtails in Norah's hair when I dressed her for Halloween as Boo from Monsters Inc. Around the same time Kristin put pigtails in Cate's hair and it looked so cute! I couldn't wait til Norah's hair was long enough to do pigtails more often. Then I realized it looks plenty cute right now in pigtails. A few people have said she looks like Cindy Lou Who with her hair sticking up like that. I think it's endearing;)

The Date I'd Always Wanted

2008-12-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

That may sound cheesy but it's true. At the top of my wish list has been to see Harry Connick Jr in concert at Christmastime. When Eric nonchalantly said Krystal had a ticket to go, I begged Pup to get to the nearest computer and order us tickets. He did, and since Oct. 11, I'd been looking forward to that weekend. We used a discount from Holly's sister and got a super cheap and very lovely Marriott room. And Mom and Nic watched the kids for us, so we had the weekend to ourselves in St. Louis.

I thought my desire to see Harry would be quenched after this weekend but really, I just want to go back, sit closer, and see that handsome smile.

In 10 years...

2008-12-11T19:52:00.001-08:00

I don't know how many times a day I think to myself, "In ten years I will miss this." Like today, Luke woke up and was talking about the boo boo on his finger (a very small boo boo if I do say so). So I kissed it for him and he said with much sincerity "All better." Or the other day he said, "Mommy play cars me?" You can't imagine the sweet inflection that goes with it and it's impossible to pass up. In 10 years I'll be wishing I could kiss his boo-boos and be the one he asks to play with.

Hats

2008-12-11T19:25:00.000-08:00

My kids have been in a hat phase lately. Mostly Luke. But Norah doesn't usually mind. He's pretty creative about it.

Here are the construction hats. Very useful for crashing.

This baseball box made 2 hats!

Neither of them were too willing to wear hats for this photo shoot:)

Norah looked good in her Steak n Shake hat.

A Bonus!

2008-12-11T19:22:00.000-08:00

Last week my boss Mike planned a little Christmas party with some Board members, me and my kids, and Bridget who cleans the campus house. He said we were going to have some desserts and just celebrate the holiday season. Sounded fun to me. I'm always up for sweets.

That Monday arrived and Luke was sick. So I called Mike and told him I couldn't come. He called me back later and asked if he could come by. So he brought me a plate of yummy Pampered Chef brownies and a card - with a big check inside for a Christmas bonus!

There are about a hundred things we could use this bonus check on. Mostly house things. Yesterday I wanted to treat myself to a better double stroller. I'm looking into that. Earlier today I was thinking about a new camera (since I broke my 2nd one in 6 mos. Yikes!!!). Presently, I'm remembering how much I want to carpet the cement back stairs to our bedroom b/c I just fell up them and my knees are killing me. I think the carpet's going to win out for sure. Hopefully I can treat myself to something else too.

Yaya's Island

2008-12-03T09:58:00.000-08:00

Kristin had mentioned to me that there was a cool new play place in Paducah called Yaya's Island. We planned to take the kids sometime this winter when we were going stir crazy. Kristin ended up going first with another friend and came back with good reviews. So when Denise and Logan wanted to go, we went on the day before Thanksgiving. Pierson, Sarah, and Mike joined us too.

The kids liked the birds and tropical fish in the huge aquariums. I thought Luke might have a bird issue after the zoo, but he didn't:) The kids had a blast playing on the inflatables, climbing on the slides and in the Jeep, "cooking" in the play huts, and playing arcade games.

Denise took Luke to look around while I took care of Norah and when I found them, they were in the gift shop area playing with cars. My boy is obsessed!